I've had a lot of questions and comments on the "socialization" of my children since they are homeschooled. "Socialization is actually meant to prepare children for the real world, which means learning to interact and deal with people of all ages, races, and backgrounds." (Diane Flynn Keith- Homeschool.com's 2005 summer teleconference) Our culture defines socialization as grouping children together with other children their own age, academic level, geographic location, and usually similar socio-economic background. So, in many senses, traditional schools are actually more on a path of de-socialization. These children are segregated according to their own kind, and have very little interaction with other adults, (besides their teacher) or other children. This environment only promotes alienation from different age groups, (especially adults) and from other social status', and special needs individuals.
All over the United States, their are young mom's that are emotionally driven with the guilt from current culture. We read in parenting magazine's, books, and articles that our little ones need this socialization in order to not be social misfits and to gain the confidence they need to be successful in life. These young mom's are meeting together for "play groups," and driving their little ones from this activity to that one. The children are put in preschools to learn how interact with other kids their own age. This "socialization" process is starting when these little ones are babies! Babies and small children should be at home with their own families learning to be secure and self-confident based on the love and nurturing from their parents and siblings. Instead, we are teaching them right from the beginning to be peer dependent, and to find their self-worth in other relationships outside of the home.
"There seems to be an overwhelming amount of evidence that children socialized in a peer-dominant environment are at higher risk for developing social maladjustment issues than those that are socialized in a parent monitored environment." (Research done by Michael Brady entitled: Social Development in Traditionally Schooled and Homeschooled Children) I recall a conversation I had with a relative of mine a few years ago. She was sending her daughter to Kindergarten and she said to me, "I really don't care for the teacher. He's retiring after this year, so he's already checked out mentally. It really doesn't matter though, because really all that kids learn in Kindergarten is how to socialize." I asked her what she meant by this. She replied, "Oh, you know. How to deal with conflict with other kids, how to work as a team, how to stand up for yourself, how to share, and how to deal with difficult people." Isn't this something that would be better learned under the guidance of an adult that actually cares about the child? The home setting is a great place to learn to handle conflict, work as a team, how to share, and how to deal with others even when their difficult! If you can't get inter-personal relationships right at home, you aren't going to do any better outside of the home! Why not let your children develop their world view, and learn good social behavior from caring adults, rather than their peers who do not know any more about life than your child does?
Later that same year, this same relative was telling me about how her second grade son had viewed pornography and was learning about age-inappropriate sexual information from a kid in his class at school. Her daughter, the one in Kindergarten, kept getting into trouble for passionately kissing boys on the mouth every time the teacher had his back turned. This is socialization?
It is not my goal to shelter or try to hide my kids from society. Actually, if you met my kids, all myths regarding homeschoolers being socially awkward would be debunked instantly! They are happy, friendly, well-rounded kids who are self-confident, funny, and comfortable in any social situation. It has been my goal to give them social skills that they need to interact with every single person that crosses their path in life. They have playmates that are way younger than them, as well as ones that are way older than them. They have a good friend that has Down's Syndrome, as well as a group of friends that only speak spanish. Our kids have gone with us on many missions trips where we serve the poor and hungry, and love them like Christ does. My seven year old daughter goes next door every single Wednesday afternoon to have a tea party with our seventy-eight year old neighbor. My children go to Sunday School, Awana, and our home-school co-op every week. We also have them enrolled in swimming and gymnastics at the local YMCA because we want them to have the opportunity to interact outside of the church and homeschool co-op environment. I have had the opportunity to help guide them in the true sense of socialization, and I am completely thrilled with the result I am getting!
The way culture views socialization is a relatively new way. It has been just in the last forty to fifty years that the educational system has grouped children by age in the classrooms. My dad went to a one-room schoolhouse while he was growing up, and he just turned sixty...so it wasn't that terribly long ago! It is interesting to look at the growing crime rate, substance abuse, divorce, millions of people that are depressed, spouse and child abuse, etc. All of these problems have sky-rocketed in the past forty years. Why is this the case, if all of these people involved in these things have been socialized? Remember, the point of socialization is to prepare children to interact and deal with people of all ages, races, and backgrounds. I'm not so impressed with the results of how society is doing, and I refuse to not give my children a fighting chance at actually being successful in the social rhelm!
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You go girl. I agree with this! We often deal with the same thing with our traveling lifestyle and let me tell you, this lifestyle has given Maggie a head start in socialization. I know we have this in common as you've moved around a lot. While there does come a time where stability is needed and appreciated, I think our kids have benefited from the diversity we've exposed them to. Maggie adopts "grandparents" and makes friends with people of all ages wherever we go...especially the maids in the hotels. :- ) I'm proud of her and I'm glad you are proud of your kids, too. I love that Molly has tea with an elderly woman weekly!