FISH HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
Jewels
Ironically, this was one of my son's school projects today.
I thought it was appropriate!

October is right around the corner. With October comes "Pastor's appreciation month." I am often asked questions regarding our ministry and life. I thought that October, and the weeks leading up to it, would be a great time to share what life is like in a Pastor's home(a.k.a. "the fish bowl").
I know that most of my blog readers fit into one of these categories:
1. You are a Pastor's wife
2. You are a Pastor's kid
3. You are friends with a Pastor
4. You attend church, so therefore you have a Pastor!

If you fit into the categories of 3 or 4 you might be wondering if any of this would be
of any interest to you and why. I think that it would be a great window for you into
the world of the Pastor that is in your life, and how you can best support, pray for,
encourage, and relate to Pastors and their families.
If you fit into the first or second category, I hope that you might be able to gain from
this the insight into other's lives that are in your same shoes. In this upcoming series,
I will be sharing the results of a survey I did of 62 Pastor's wives, and 39 Pastor's kids.
I personally found it encouraging to hear the stories, experiences, and advice these
individuals shared,and hope that it will be to you as well.
The Infamous "P.K."
This particular article is part two of a series of blogs I am doing regarding the
Pastor's home. Where better to start than with the children of Pastor's!?!
I am a pastor's kid, the second born of four children in my family. I also have four of my own kids now, and their daddy is a pastor. To put it mildly, P.K.'s (pastor's kids) have a very special place in my heart! The interesting thing about our position in life is that it is something we are born into, not something we chose. Were as, the Pastor and the Pastor's wife chose to be in their positions. This position in life comes with a mixed bag of blessings, and hardships.
I find it incredibly interesting that other's interest in the lives of the Pastor and his family is a very widespread thing. It isn't coming just from those that are attending the churches. All of the neighbors are watching, the parents of your children's schoolmates, and even the media. Just off of the top of my head, I can think of several movies that are about Pastor's kids: "A Walk to Remember," "The Magic of Ordinary Days" (Hallmark), "Preacher's Kid", "Because of Winn Dixie", "Footloose", etc. Then there are the songs about us too: Dusty Springfield's "Son Of A Preacher Man", Toby Keith's "God Love Her", Bruce Springsteen's "Preacher's Daughter", 3 Inches of Blood's "Preacher's Daughter", Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Preacher's Daughter". (You'd think some of them could be a little bit more original in their song titles!) Anyway, I'm sure that there are many more movies and songs out there, those listed where just the ones I could think of. I just googled "Plumbers kids", "Lawyer's kids", "Truck driver's Kids", and "Beautician's kids." Interestingly enough, there are no songs about them, and no movie titles either! Why is that? Why is the family of the Pastor so intriguing to people?
Another very interesting little bit of trivia for you: there is actually something called Preacher's Kid Syndrome. "Some clergy live in social networks that impose uncodified and perhaps unconscious expectations about the conduct, not only of the clergy themselves, but also the members of their families.[1] Children of church leaders are often subjected to greater scrutiny by the community than other children. People around them, including their parents, often set higher moral and behavioral standards for these children. Due to the greater visibility of these children, their mistakes are magnified and given extra attention. In addition, these children often sense that they are treated differently from others and can react in various disruptive ways. The term also has connotations of itinerance, with the preacher's kid following their parent on the latter's postings to different congregations.[2] Finally, preachers' kids witness the day to day business of their religious congregations more intimately than the non-clergy members do, and become familiar with church administration and the social dimensions of dealing with the congregation at an early age. A large number of the children of Protestant and Jewish clergy go on to become members of the clergy themselves.[3]

Preacher's kid syndrome is a situation in which the parents of a preacher's kid are attuned to everyone's problems but those of the kid.[4]" (Wikipedia)

Another interesting article on Preacher's Kid Syndrome is found here


Yet some more trivia for you:

-Joel Olsteen
-Franklin Graham
-Anne Graham Lotz
-Chonda Pierce

A few years ago, I interviewed 39 people. The group I targeted had to be Pastor's kids, not deacons kids, missionary's kids, etc. In some small ways, deacon's and missionary's kids may have some similar public performance expectations, stress due to their parental positions, etc, but the positions and circumstances are completely different. The target group also had to be children of parents who were in pastoral ministry here in the United States. The church of America is a totally different story than churches in other countries, thus that specific criteria. Lastly, I wanted to only interview Pastor's kids who were over 18. Why? Because I didn't want to draw attention to the reality that there are unique challenges, stresses, opportunities, etc. in the role of a P.K., to children that might not be mature enough to accurately look at and deal with them. Of those I interviewed the youngest was 18, and the oldest was 45 years old. Twenty two of the interviewees were female, and 17 were male. The following few blogs are the results of those interviews.
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3 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:
    September 23, 2009 at 8:36 PM

    I am so glad you are finally doing this! You are very brave to tackle this subject!! It is so important for the church to support, embrace, and encourage the whole pastor's family. Good job!

    Suzy


  2. hi-d Says:
    September 26, 2009 at 4:00 PM

    I came across your blog. This was a very interesting post. I grew up in a Christian home and have some close friends that are PK's or are Pastors or Wife's of Pastor's. It's so true that in a lot of cases, there is so much pressure put on the kids in this environment. (Or the wife of a Pastor for that matter). I didn't know that there was an actual "Preacher's Kid Syndrome."

    Thanks,
    hi-d


  3. Anonymous Says:
    October 4, 2009 at 9:44 PM

    Wow! I didn't realize all those people were PK's! I guess I just have never even though about the fact that the Pastor's kids have unique challenges.


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